VULNERABILITY

Vulnerability IS NOT Weakness

Vulnerability is a basic human condition required for true connection. Without it you will not be able to build meaningful and supportive relationship. 
As a leader, I need both meaningful AND supportive relationships. Why? Because it’s not easy and can even feel isolating. In my professional journey I can definitely point to times when I lacked vulnerability, therefore suffered the consequence and was cut off from the supportive relationships I needed to thrive in my role. 
How do you start?
1- Find safe people with whom you have a relationship, i.e. you trust them, they are for you and want to see you thrive. 
2- Tell them you need to talk and just have space to say how you are feeling without any advice or feedback. The element of being heard, accepted, and contained provides powerful relational nutrients that “fuel” our hearts + minds. 
3- ACCEPT THE SUPPORT. This can be so hard for us at times. It’s as if accepting kindness and support is an imposition to the other person, like we have put them out. Or worse, it’s too uncomfortable. I encourage you to sit with it, take it in, and let it move you, feel good, soothe your heart, and fuel your well-being. 

MENTAL ATTITUDE

POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE- A TOOLBOX ESSENTIAL

It’s really easy to be positive when things are going the way we want and expect. ⠀⠀
But in times of crisis a PMA can be very hard to maintain. ⠀⠀
Leaders have to expect that they and their teams may not be mentally prepared to deal with crisis and the longer it goes on the worse it can become.
We should all be prepared to tackle this hard issue.

Here is a great tool set to use with yourself and others:
- Acknowledge the feelings, we all have them and they come from a source, we should honor them.
- Talk to others to help regulate the emotions.
- If you feel incapacitated with anxiety, fear, or depression talk to a therapist. i.e., we shouldn’t be debilitated by our feelings.

- DO: Use your thoughts to manage your emotions. For example “I’m not alone, others know how I feel.” “All reality is my friend and I can find out the facts in this situation.” “I always have choices.” “I will only put energy into what I can control.”

- DO: be kind to yourself and others because this time of COVID-19 is hard and unprecedented. ⠀

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Remember, the character of our mind determines our mental attitude.

S.M.E.R.F.

YOUR BASIC NEEDS DURING TIMES OF CRISIS

Maintaining a high level of functioning is hard for most everyone during unprecedented times like we are facing in 2020. @dr.john_townsend hosts a weekly FB Live talk, God Bless him, serving the community selflessly during this pandemic, providing Tools for Living in Crisis to help us get through this unprecedented time.

I learned SMERF from John and I hope it’s helpful for you too.

Daily Check List:
S- Spiritual: Start each day with time with God, in prayer, dedicated to asking Him that you lead well.
M-Mental: Set your intentions each day in the morning. State a positive intention for the day like, “Today, I will make calm, rational decisions”. The brain loves order and self-talk enhances the brain’s engagement. As leaders we have to make decisions in this rapidly changing environment and sometimes without all of the information so you want to be mentally prepared to make the best possible!
E- Emotional: Listen to what you are feeling. Don’t disconnect. Reach out to trusted people for support and help to regulate how you are feeling.
R- Relational: We get so much from each other in our lives. We are all imperfect people and need each other for grace & truth to stay grounded in reality. Tell each other what you need, and ask others, “what do you need right now?” Sometimes we just need for someone to be with us, without words, simply support through presence.
F-Functional: Keep a daily to-do list to help you stay focused. Our brains need order and structure so stay committed to the goals you had pre-Covid-19, stay focused on pre-crisis mission and vision, and stay connected to your teams.

I’ve put this to work in my personal and professional life and I hope it is helpful to you as well.